GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

I usually take stupid comments by stupid people in stride. (I know some of you are reading this and totally laughing at me and thinking "Pam? Seriously?") But I realize that most people have no idea how WLS works. Many people consider it the "easy way out". And part of why I started this blog was to help educate friends and family (and cyber stalkers) about this process and journey. So I do understand that there are a lot of misconceptions out there about this whole thing.

But today - someone's comment to me has really stuck in my craw! UGH! We were in the kitchen at work and she was asking me how I was doing (everyone at work knows I have had this surgery). Her son-in-law is considering this surgery and she keeps checking in with me to see how it's going. A frequent question I get is "Are you able to eat real food yet?" That one always gets me. Well most food I put in my mouth is real - what kind of food do you eat? Never mind - that is just the dry humor of my Father coming out in me. So I was telling her some of the things I can eat now that I am in the pureed/soft food stage. So she mentions that her son-in-law "needs to get his act together soon or he's gonna have to do this the hard way by watching what he eats and exercising."

Yeah - so I made a real conscious effort not to beat her down.

As politely as I could I told her that if he chose to have surgery he would have to watch what he eats EVEN MORE than if he hadn't had surgery. I have never been so conscious about what I am putting in my mouth in all my life! I count calories, I count fat grams, I count carbs, and protein and ounces of water. I have cut out virtually all sugar from my diet. And exercise - I exercise a lot! This is a lifestyle change people - that's not cliche. Doing what I have always done will NOT get me anywhere different. I have to change everything about how I was living if I want this to be a permanenet and life altering change. People who don't abide by these new rules do not succeed. They are the ones that your friends will whisper to you about ... "My aunt had her stomach stapled, but now she put all the weight back on" ... I did not go through all of this to keep living the same way. I knew there had to be changes - major changes - this surgery has helped me to make those changes and helps me to stick by them. With a regular "diet" you can cheat - you can have that one candy bar - those 2 cookies - that bite of ice cream. I can't. This surgery ensures that I don't cheat. I don't eat too much, I don't eat too fast, and I don't eat what my body cannot absorb and process well.

So let me assure all of you out there that may be reading this thinking that I took the easy way out - this was anything but easy. You still have to watch what you eat - even more so now than ever. You don't want to put something in your mouth that will make you dump. You can't eat too much or you will puke. You have to go through a lot of stages while your new pouch heals with clear liquids, full liquids, pureed foods, soft foods. You have to be sure to get a certain amount of protein, and fluid in each day. And you still need to exercise - that needs to become part of your daily routine. It helps the weight come off - it helps it stay off - it helps your body heal - it helps your energy levels - it helps with extra skin. WLS is a tool for those looking to loose a lot of weight. A tool. Not a magical wand. More like a sledge hammer or a chisel. Be careful with both.

A New Year - A New Me

My kids came home yesterday and brought some custom made balloons with them. They were lots of fun. One said "A New Year" on one side and "A New Mom" on the other. The other baloon they signed. I'm definitely looking forward to 2009 as a new beginning for me.

I had been told that this first week home would be the hardest - it has definitely not been easy. Getting 48-64 ounces of liquid in a day is proving to be a humungous task. I have to force myself to drink, or eat jello. I have never handled aspartame well (found in NutraSweet), so Crystal Light won't work - it gives me a headache even faster now that my insides have been re-routed. Yesterday I had two swallows and was down for the count with an awful headache for the rest of the day. The nutritionist did say that I could have juice if it was 100% juice - no sugar added - so I have sent D on a scavenger hunt this morning with the girls to try to find some place open on New Year's Day. I hope to try to take a short walk outside today as well to get the gas moving. It's getting better, but is still giving me grief.

I've now lost the weight that I gained from surgery - so that is encouraging. Let's see how things go from here.

WATER!

I finally had my barium swallow test and was cleared to be able to drink clear liquids! Water has never tasted so good. I can just sip a little bit at a time, but if this goes well I should be able to try things like broth and sugar free jello soon.

I'm on the Loser's Bench!

So surgery went well yesterday. I woke up feeling very nauseous, but the wonderful nurses here at Rex Hospital took care of me and I managed to get through it without actually getting sick. It has been a little bit more painful that I had thought it would be. I think it's mainly the gas that they pump into your belly for the laparoscopic procedure. It's not nearly as bad as my open hysterectomy was earlier this year. I have been up and walking around several times since about 10:00pm last night. For some reason I couldn't sleep very well last night - I was up most of the night, despite hitting my "Happy Button" several times.

So now I am just waiting for my barium swallow test. It's an contrast x-ray that they will do to ensure that there are no leaks. I am not allowed to have anything to drink until this test confirms that there are no leaks. I have only been able to use a small sponge on a stick (think lollipop) to coat my lips. No swallowing any of the water in it. Once that test is done I will be able to start back on clear liquids. I need to have 1-2 ounces every 15 minutes as long as I'm awake. Honestly, at this point, that sounds like an awful lot. When I went off to surgery I was SO HUNGRY. I had never been so hungry. But I am so NOT HUNGRY now. It's true what they say - it's like a switch - I'm not hungry.

The nutritionist just came in to see me and see if I had any questions about my transition. She was very informative and helped me with a few questions about my vitamins and medications. I have my multi-vitamins in liquid form, as well as my calcium and B-12 in liquid form. I had my current prescriptions changed so that I could crush them.

I'm going to take a little nap while I'm waiting to go to XRay. Thank you to all of you who have been checking in on me! It means more to me than you will ever know!

Check in with y'all later!