The Divorce Continues

I have mentioned before that this process is really a divorce from food. I had no idea just how painful this divorce was going to be.

I am totally addicted to milk, and to me cheese makes everything better. But I think that I have become lactose intolerant since surgery.

As I have stated on this blog before - I and my surgeon have been thinking that I am suffering from a stricture. But I did have a few times that I ate and did not get ill afterwards. So it got me to thinking - what was the difference? I started going back over what I was eating and realized I was having an awful lot of dairy in my quest for soft foods. Soft cheeses, cottage cheese, milk whenever I could get it. So today I decided to test my theory and see if I could go without anything with lactose in it. I made it most of the day and I was not sick! But then at dinner tonight I decided to make my kids some heart shaped waffles. One fell apart and I took a couple of bites of that dry waffle - which was made with ... milk!!!! In about 30 minutes I spent the next 2 hours in absolute misery.

So the divorce with my favorite foods continues. Before surgery I was talking to someone I go to church with who had the same surgery - with the same surgeon about 8 months before me. He said to me "It's like learning to eat all over again." Truer words have never been spoken!!!!

Stricture

So after a few days of misery I was able to get in to see Dr. Enochs today. Gotta tell ya - that man's smile makes it all OK. :)

Anyway - I have been having a lot of difficulty eating lately. Liquids stay down, but I am sore after I drink. Soft foods - well that is hit or miss. Sometimes Kanga refunds the Roo. When she does that has not been pretty - have had blood come up with it, etc... If the Roo stays down I am in pain for hours.

Dr. Enochs thinks that I may be working on a stricture in the area where my new stomach (a.k.a. Kanga) attaches to my intestines. Because I'm only 5 weeks out from surgery - it could just be swelling having to do with healing and not necessarily scar tissue. He wants to wait and let me heal a bit more before trying to go in there with endoscopy to fix things. He doesn't like to go in before 2 months has passed. So he gave me a script for some steroids to see if that shrinks things and makes it easier for me. I am to do the steroids for a few days and go back to liquids, and then try to advance to soft foods and see what happens. If I am still having trouble at the end of February then they will have me see the GI doc for an endoscopy. If things get worse before then they will address it. He would just like to give me a few more weeks if possible.

I hope that the steroids work. Not being able to eat and being in pain a lot of the time is getting really old.

Neglecting Pamelot

I'm sorry that I have been neglecting Pamelot the past few days. It's been a busy weekend for me, and Kanga has been retaliating against me as well. I have had a lot of cases of the foamies and a few cases where Kanga refunded the Roo. I can't tell if Kanga just doesn't like the Roo - or if I'm eating too fast or too much or what. So I'm going to try to go back to liquids over the next day or so and see if that makes a difference.

And I am finding that just when I think I have "conquered" all of this mental stuff with food, I have not! I have struggled with my love affair with food a lot this weekend. I had a baby shower Friday night and I was good - I don't have much choice in the matter, but I wanted to be so bad. I also had a Super Bowl party at my mom's house tonight. The only way I didn't eat all the wonderful stuff in front of me was because I couldn't. I really wanted to. The chips, the brownies, the sausage. I wanted it all, and I worry what will happen when I can have it all again. I still have a ways to go as I divorce some of the foods I love so much.

Foamies

Today was pretty good. I got all my protein in yesterday (I am striving for 80-100grams) without too much trouble. Today I tried an Isopure Dutch Chocolate protein shake. That was OK - I had to mix it with a spoon so it wasn't quite the right consistency. I think it would be better a little colder and a little smoother. I made it with milk to get even more protein. That shake alone is 50 grams of protein! I made it with milk and was able to add 16 more grams of protein. I had no problem making my protein alotment by using that. I have heard great things about "Oh Yeah!" protein shakes. They are 32 grams of protein and I plan on trying one tomorrow.

I had the potato soup again this evening - and in my excitement to eat it I ate it too quickly. Oh - not good. Not good at all. The pain! The discomfort! The foamies!!! Yup - foamies. They can be brought on by eating (or drinking something thick like the soup I was having) too fast, or by not chewing your food enough. Our pouches are no longer capable of producing hydrochloric acid. But the body is an amazing self-preserver given half a chance. When we get into problems overfilling our pouches by eating too fast or taking bites that are not small enough, the body begins to produce large quantities of mucus to help things along. It is an overwhelming nausea, stomach churning feeling. Not the same as dumping - but no fun just the same. Note to self: sip ... slowly!

And I am sure that people will say that I am pushing myself too hard by having gone back to work so soon, etc..., but I am so tired by the time I get home. I could just crawl into bed for the rest of the night. I'm hoping that now that I am getting more protein in my diet that will help.

I got a fun package from www.bariatriceating.com today. It's a protein sample pack - has different samples of all different types of protein drinks. Powders to mix in all different flavors and by different companies, Ready-To-Drinks (RTD) from different companies and in different flavors, as well as a blender bottle, a bracelet to remind me to believe in myself, and a great book called "Before & After, Living and Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery". I am looking forward to trying a few of these. I also recieved some DaVinci Sugar Free Syrups. Now those I can't WAIT to try. I got 3 flavors, chocolate, peanut butter, and cookie dough. They are made with Splenda (no aspartame!) and you can use them to add to your protein shakes in order to make an endless amount of different flavors! I chose these 3 flavors to start, but they have a ton of different flavors like butter rum, toasted marshmallow, german chocolate cake, lemon, lime, orange, peppermint, creme de minthe. You add just a little to your protein shakes and voila! You have a different flavor! I don't think I am going to be able to try anything tonight. I really wanted to, but I'm still dealing with the foamies and I think I should just be gentle to my pouch.

Speaking of pouch - I got some great name suggestions. I think my favorite right now is to name my pouch "Kanga" and what I put into her "Roo".

I have also found an easy quick way to get some walking in at work. I take the elevator to the top floor - walk all the way around the floor then take the stairs down to the next level and so on. It takes me 15-20 minutes if I don't get caught up talking to someone I haven't seen in a while, and I try to do it for my morning break and for an afternoon break.

OK - half way through my first week back to work. It's not so scary. I can do this. :)