Emotional Struggles Post Weight Loss

So this life after losing weight can be up and down.  It's so exciting to lose the weight - I won't lie. Being able to fit in clothes I never thought I could. Being able to do things I never thought I could like zip lining and running races, rollerskating with my kids - even if it does end up with me on my ass.  :)  But at almost 4 years from my surgery I still wonder when I will recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. I see myself in pictures, but I don't recognize myself.  I wonder if it is because I was never this size when I was growing up.  I don't know.

I have long followed a pioneer in this WLS community who I admire, Michelle Vicari.  She has a fantabulous blog, The World According to Eggface. She has the most wonderful recipes and has been a lifesaver for me more times than I can remember.  She was on the premiere of the Ricki Lake show today and what she had to say about her own emotional journey hit me right at the core.

http://therickilakeshow.com/episodes-clips/2012/9/The-Emotional-Struggle-after-Weight-Loss

When will I see myself for who I am? Or am I still a size 26? Do I need to marry the two in order to make peace? Do I really need to leave my size 26 self behind? Is that fair? She is so much a part of who I am and has helped shape me - I don't feel like it's fair to just leave her behind.  I realize that I've worked hard to get where I am and to be a size 6, but the old Pam is never gone - she has really helped to shape the Pam I have become - hasn't she?