3 Months and 60 Pounds Down

Today is exactly 3 months out from surgery, and today I officially hit 60 pounds down. I hit a stall last week that had me playing around with the same 3 or 4 pounds, but this week has resolved that. The past 3 months have been absolutely surreal. They have gone by so fast and I can't believe how much weight I have lost. I am doing things I never thought I would do ... ever!

It got me to thinking about some of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of this journey. Here they are:

• I want my feet to stop hurting. Well they hurt - but because of my new tattoo!
• I want to be able to walk more than a mile without stopping because of my back. DONE! I now walk 3 miles without stopping at all. And I have taken to jogging! I can jog 2 miles without stopping!
• I want to stop wearing my CPAP machine at night. I have not worn my CPAP since surgery! I don't snore (much) at night anymore! In fact, I gave my CPAP away! Hope you're enjoying it, Tim!
• I want my knees to stop hurting. My knees still bother me - I have arthritis in them, but they don't hurt ALL the time like they did before - only when I really push myself exercising.
• I want to be able to cross my legs comfortably. I can do it! I want to be able to be a little more comfortably doing this and do it longer, but I can do it! Even in church in the pew where there's not much room!
• I want to be able to run around with my kids. I even got on the trampoline with my kids! I also go bike riding with them now!
• I want to feel like I don't have to avoid mirrors. I still avoid mirrors a lot. This will have to be something I work on. And when I look in them I still see me 3 months ago. But my friends are helping me work this out.
• I want to be able to fit comfortably in a roller coaster when we go on vacation this summer. I haven't done this yet, but I'm feeling good about the possibilities this summer!
• I want to be able to fit comfortably in an airplane seat. On my trip to see my sister I had no trouble with the seatbelt and didn't feel like I was imposing on the person next to me. Yeah!
• I want my blood pressure to go back to normal. I was on 3 different blood pressure medications prior to surgery because I am allergic to ACE inhibitors. I have not taken ONE of them since the day of surgery! My blood pressure has been phenomenal since surgery. I just took it now and it was 114/68!
• I want to be able to go to the doctor and not have my blood pressure go up just at the thought of having to get on the scale. So I've only had one doctor's appointment since surgery and my blood pressure was 122/72. That is pretty freakin' good for me!
• I want to shop in a "normal" store for clothing. I am so close to this I can taste it. It is possible I could actually shop in normal stores right now, but I am going through clothes sizes so fast right now I can't bring myself to spend money on new clothes that I will only wear for a little while. A lot of clothes I am currently wearing are just too big and that is just how it will be. I plan to make a trip to a local thrift store soon and see what I can find.
• I don't want my kids to be embarassed by their fat mom. My kids spend a lot of time telling me how good I look when I have a new outfit on, etc... In fact, the day that the kids came to the hospital after my surgery my daughter, Marissa, took to telling everyone in the elevator that she was coming to visit her mom and that her mom was in the hospital to "get skinny".

I also took my measurements. I hate that I'm going to post this, but I'm going to post it.

Pre-op 3 months out
Bust 50 44
Rib cage 46 39
Waist 46 39
Hips 56 50
Thighs 30 26
Arms 15 13

In total I have lost 32 inches! WOW! Here is a collage I put together that compares me to a few days before surgery ....

Unexpected WOW!

So at work today I was washing my hands in the bathroom and my wedding ring fell off! Never fear - I was able to rescue it in the sink, but it totally freaked me out! 3 months ago at surgery time it took everything in me to just get that ring off! Now it's sliding off all on it's own! WEIRD!I had gotten it sized up about 10 years ago and I'm thinking I was about this weight. Daren just gave me a third ring (see picture - two wedding bands on either side of the diamond - he gave me the second wedding band for our 5 year anniversary) and when I got them bonded together I had it sized up a little bit. Now I may have to have it sized down! This is definitely a WOW I had not anticipated.

Hell Has Frozen Over!

OK - I just did something I swore I would never do - ever ever again.

I haven't done it since high school. I didn't enjoy it even then.

I jogged. I can't believe it. I jogged! 2 whole miles!

Now let me be clear here. I jogged. I did not run. It was only slightly (allbeit ever so slightly) faster than a good walk. But I did it! I jogged! I have no idea what possessed me, but I did it! I only stopped to walk once in 2 miles! I can't believe it! And in the spirit of true confession - I waited until it was dark so no one could see me. :)

And can I just say - I truly don't know why I did it. I have hated jogging and running for forever. No interest in doing it whatsoever. I was pretty active in high school. Did Volleyball, Cheerleading, Softball, and even Track & Field. I like to emphasize the "Field" part of Track and Field. And truth be told - I only did it to (1) get out of school early for track meets, and (2) go to the Pennsylvania track meet for 3 days which meant - out of school for 3 days and a chance to make out with my boyfriend on the bus in the dark. As soon as said boyfriend graduated from high school I quit. And I only ran when I had to as part of my conditioning. My coach would occassionally put me in races and I dreaded it. I was always last. I was an awful runner. I was fair to poor in the field events as well. I did shot put, high jump, javelin, and dabbled in discus and long jump. Anything to keep the coach from entering me in a race. Anything. So when I quit Track I vowed I would never jog or run again - ever. I hated it - I would have awful asthma attacks every year - usually landing me in the ER. Tonight I have been out of breath to be sure, but nothing like I thought I would be. I can't believe I went 2 miles!

I am starting to see it

OK - all this time I have been having a hard time seeing the difference in me. People say it and I try to be gracious (key word being try - I don't always catch myself before something caustic comes out), but inside I am like "They are just saying that because they know I had surgery." I truly was not seeing the difference. I knew in my head there was one because the scale said so and because my clothes were no longer fitting, but when I looked in the mirror I couldn't see it.

Today I can honestly say that I am starting to see it. I did a comparison collage:

I have had people coming up to me a lot lately and asking me things like "Did you do something different to your hair?" HEHEHEHEHEHE. Yeah - I did! I lost a lot of face! I don't usually say something to the people who don't know about my surgery - they'll figure it out eventually.

Climb

OK - I swear - I am not a dork. I am not 35 years old and listening to Miley Cyrus.

But ... I did hear this song today and since my girls were in the car I could not change the channel. The lyrics really spoke to me:

Climb

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep the head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a up-hill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to loose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes I knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a up-hill battle

Sometimes you're gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a up-hill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, Keep your faith.

I know this is how I feel a lot lately. In reality - I am losing a ton of weight - really fast. But I get lost when I start trying to look around my mountain instead of realizing that I have so many lessons to learn while I'm climbing. I want to be thin ... NOW! But if I don't take the time to learn the lessons that this surgery has afforded me - I will just be right back where I started in a few short years. I have the voices telling me that I can't do this - that I am destined to be the fat chic.

So what mountain are you climbing right now? Are you so focused on what should be on the other side that you are not enjoying the climb? I know - sometimes the climb is NOT enjoyable. But it's the lessons we learn while we're climbing that make the other side so sweet! Is your faith wavering because you have been climbing for so long? Is that voice in your head telling you you'll never make it? Keep the faith!

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.

Hear that? I have a hope and a future! And you do, too!

Enjoy the climb, friends!

Sneaking up on 60 pounds down!

Here are some more pics from my vacation. This is picture below is of the first outfit I have bought that is NOT a plus-size outfit! NO WAY! I am slowly but surely sneaking up on being 60 pounds down since surgery. It's only been 12 weeks. I am quickly running out of clothes to wear! I don't know what I'm going to do about clothes for work pretty soon.

This is a classic picture of my sister just enjoying the sun on the dock.

This was just a fun pic before heading out on the town.

I just love palm trees.

SO RELAXING!

I am back from my trip to Clearwater for my sisters vacation. It was so wonderful. We had a fantastic time - a fun time - a leisurely time. We slept as late as we wanted, took naps whenever we wanted. Most of the time we had no idea what time it was - nor did we care. We were totally women of leisure. It was fantabulous. We walked everywhere we went so we were probably walking 3-4 miles a day (in my humble estimation - Shannon will probably dispute that). I managed to loose 6 pounds while on vacation! Who does that? Kanga was a little on edge while on vacation and not happy with most Roo that was given to her. That was pretty frustrating.

Here are some pictures of some of our adventures. One wild and crazy thing we did while we were down there ... we got tattoos!

This is my tattoo. The word "Loved" with 3 diamonds around the word. My kids birthdays are in April and that is their birthstone. One is blue (for my son, Caleb), one is Purple (for my daughter Megan), and one is pink (for my daughter Marissa). And, yes, it HURT. Apparently the top of your foot is one of the most painful places to get a tattoo. This REALLY hurt.

This is my sister's tattoo. She got the same word, but got two hearts - one for each of her girls in the colors of their birthstones.

Here is a silly pic of our feet together.

Here is a pic of what I looked like most days on vacation - just hanging out in my bathing suit on the doc behind our motel. We would walk along the beach and people watch, but it was so easy to sit out on the doc and just rest.

This is a fun pic of my sister. I think this pic captures the whole essence of our weekend together. It was just so great. I am so thankful to my sister for making me do this. I so needed it. I am renewed and refreshed and ready to tackle life and all it brings again. And trust me - life is bringing it's share lately. :)


I will post some more pictures soon when I go through what's on my camera, etc...

I'm Leavin' On A Jet Plane ...

I think I mentioned on here before that my sister has seen that I am in desperate need of a break from reality - a getaway - and has graciously arranged for me to come visit her. I am leaving tomorrow evening to go down to Clearwater Beach for the rest of the week. There will be no children and no husbands - just us sisters sitting on the beach and doing blissfully nothing. Expect to see pictures posted here so I can torture you all. :)

In getting ready to leave I have had an interesting problem - finding clothes that fit. I have found a ton that fit, but now the problem is deciding which to take with me! It's so exciting to have cute clothes that fit. I drove my husband crazy last night trying on a gagillion things and going "Does this look OK?" Of course, he's not that crazy about me going without him - so he could care less if I look OK or not. :)

I am looking forward to sleeping in, napping, sitting in the sun, walking, reading a book without being interrupted every 5 minutes, and just basically not living by anyone else's timeline.

When I come back I have an appointment with my Primary Care Physician (Dr. Bloom) to discuss some hip pain I have been having. I went to the chiropractor about the hip pain earlier this week. He said my hip was mis-aligned, but he also feels that because of the rapid weight loss I have my hips are having some bio-mechanical issues. He feels physical therapy is in order because my gait has probably changed. Right now my hip locks up randomly and really hurts when it does. So we'll see how physical therapy helps.

Next WOW!

I have a suit jacket that has been in my closet for 16 or 17 years. It is a gorgeous jacket that my grandmother made probably 20 or 25 years ago. It doesn't matter that I haven't been able to wear it in almost 15 years - I won't get rid of it because it's precious to me - my grandmother made it. She was an excellent seemstress. And I'm always amazed that 20 years later this coat is still stylish. My grandmother never got to see me get married, though she did know D. I hope she's looking down on my from heaven and is proud of me.



So this morning as I was playing in my closet (which I am prone to doing lately as I have clothes in there that didn't fit before, but more and more they now fit) I saw that jacket calling my name from the back corner. I pulled it out - and it fit! I can even button it! It's still a gorgeous jacket. I've gotten several compliments on it today at work. So here are some pictures of me with an angel I have on my mantel that I love as I spend today thinking of my Grandma Dempsey. The second picture has me with the emerald ring that I have that was hers as well.

WOW!

Something fun happened this morning when the kids were getting ready for school. My son realized that he could fit his arms all the way around his momma! He could even clasp his hands and squeeze!

So then my daughter Marissa tried and she could touch her fingers, too!

My daughters keep asking me when "the new mommy" will be here. Apparently I'm not losing weight fast enough for them. I don't know if it's because they see me every day, or if they just don't understand. We had to have several conversations before the surgery about what I was doing and how I was going to loose a lot of weight - not right away, but quickly, etc... I think they are

Neglecting Pamelot again

So sorry that I have not posted to Pamelot in a week or so. Last week my friend Becky and her family came for a visit. Becky and I have been best friends since high school. It was so great to catch up with her and just spend some time together. It had been about 3 years since we had seen each other. Her kids and my kids get along great so it was really quite nice for them to play and spend time together as well.






While she was here we also got together with someone else we went to school with who lives close to me - Catrin and her family. That was also fun. Here is a picture of all our kids - as well as one of all of us:

The other cool thing that happened this past weekend is that I officially hit 50 pounds down since surgery! I am 2 months from surgery and 50 pounds down! I can't believe it! Becky took some pictures of me so that I could commemorate the occassion.

This picture is for my mom - she insists she can't recognize her daughter's own rear end these days.

This was a fun one for Becky. HEHEHEHEHEHE.

More to come soon on other developments this week in Pamelot!