If You Do What You Always Did, You Will Get What You Always Got

I've been thinking this thought a lot lately. Several situations have come up lately that have had me repeating this phrase over and over again.

The first situation is hearing from someone who has had gastric bypass surgery and doesn't understand why so many of us are so obsessed with eating right, etc... She has managed to loose over 100 pounds and still goes to fast food restaurants 7 or 8 times a week and still does not exercise. Her argument - if she could have done it with eating right and exercise she would not have needed the surgery. HHHHHMMMMMM. My argument - I needed the specific guidelines and rules of WLS in order to eat right and exercise like I knew I should. The thing with gastric bypass is that pretty much no matter what you do - you will loose weight. You are given this "magic window" of 18-24 months where you will loose weight - you have to because of what they have done to your stomach and your intestines. The question is - what happens after that magic window? Your body will eventually adapt to your new intestines re-routing. And if you do what you always did, you will get what you always got. If, instead, I take advantage of this magic window and make the changes that I know need to be made in my life - maybe, just maybe, this will be a life change for me, not just another failed diet. I am determined that I am not going to fail at this again. So what changes am I hoping "stick"? Eating smaller meals, eating healthier meals, and my new found love of exercise - running in particular.

Another instance that had me repeating this mantra in my head was meeting up with family that I haven't been around since the surgery. I got a lot of comments like "You can't eat this? Not even a little? That's crazy!" Yeah - I know. And I do miss some of my old friends like pizza and soda, in particular, but if you do what you always did, you will get what you always got. I also got some comments about my "new will power". If I had that kind of will power, I would never have gotten as fat as I got (getting what I always got). I obviously don't have will power - that is why I had this surgery. I needed the strict rules surrounding what I could and could not eat to make this change in my life.

And so while it feels good to have people acknowledge the change in me, part of me is still stuck with the thought that I had to get to the point of needing such a drastic change in my life. There is part of me that still feels shame at how big I got, and part of me that is stuck in that shame and in my "fat suit". I think it will just take some time for my mind to catch up with my body. I wonder if it isn't a bad thing that I hang on to some of that shame - as a way to remind myself where I came from and where I never want to go back.