I have been getting lots of comments about how brave I am and how I am handling this so well. What I can't figure out is if I am just at peace about all of this - or if I am so deep in the land of denial that I can't find my way out.
Sometimes I think I am just at peace - I just have this feeling deep in my soul that everything will be OK. I probably have cancer and I am going to have my kidney out - and that's all OK. God's in control. I have another healthy kidney - it's all good.
And then there are the occassions ... which are few and far between ... where I am scared ... where I let myself cry ... where that word won't even come out of my mouth.
Is it possible to be both at peace and in total denial? :)
I think so... we are only human and God understands our moments of "denial".... you have to go through the whole process. As you feel you are walking that road of denial for the time, just remember God is there holding your hand through it all just the same as when you have the peaceful feeling. :)
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