- Increasingly - people I haven't seen in a while don't recognize me.
- I get a lot of people telling me they are proud of me or making remarks about how great I look and saying things like "aren't you proud of yourself?"
I just don't know how to respond to this. I'm glad you're proud of me. I do appreciate the compliments - I really do - I just don't know how to respond to them. I am embarassed that I got to such a point that I had to make such drastic changes that people don't recognize me. I am mortified that I got to a point that people are proud of me for making changes in my life that I should have made long ago. Am I proud of myself? Yeah - I guess so. Moreso - I'm just mad at myself for living my life for so many years as fat as I was - missing out on so much that life has to offer - not being the best mom I could for my kids - not being the best wife to my husband - and just not enjoying myself or my life the way I should have. I mean - what kind of temple was I? Was I really worshiping the way I could have? Was I witnessing the way I could have? I know it wasn't a waste by any means, but ... ugh!
So if you are one of those people that has made these comments to me and you've been a little put off or confused by my reaction - I apologize. I'm still getting used to this body and I just don't know how to handle those comments. They stir up so many conflicting responses inside me. I do appreciate those of you who have honestly tried to encourage me in this journey (and you know who you are). I know that I need to be gracious and I'm sorry that I am not quite there yet.
You know... you are going through a lot of changes physically, but also emotionally. What you are experiencing is normal and it will take time as well. Sending you a hug and maybe I'll see ya at school and get to give you one in person. You are doing great. :)
ReplyDeletePam, I can appreciate your discomfort, and your confusion about how to respond. Having someone tell you they're "proud of you" is definitely different than simply having her say "you look fabulous." To me -- and I appreciate that this perspective may be mine alone -- it also has a bit of a parental flavor.
ReplyDeleteBut, as you mention, the intent of the comment is a good one, and that's the important thing. How about a simple "thanks for the encouragement"? or "thanks. I appreciate the encouragement." It's not only a way of thanking the person who's made the comment, but a way of rephrasing the compliment to help keep you motivated.
The most important thing, I think, is not to use these compliments as a way to remind you of what you didn't do in the past, but rather, to reward you for the positive changes that you made to enable you to get to where you are today.
Congrats!
Sweet girl, I believe that we are given life lessons and we use them to live a better life, to find a better way. While 30 years of obesity is an unpleasant memory for me, it is exactly what got me to where I am today. I have learned so much more because I was obese. I didn't throw away my younger life on parties that would have made me old before my time and now I have been given a second chance to do it better this time. I believe you should be very proud and I certainly understand why you have difficulty with that but you will adjust. There's nothing wrong with someone saying they are proud of you or even "you look great" because they are picking up on the glow within. We spent so many years being ashamed and all that does is harm us and our love ones. The same goes for being mad about your past. It is gone and cannot be changed so let it go and live the life you deserve. It WILL get easier. Just try to move past the negativity of the past because it no longer serves a purpose except to remind you enough to not return.
ReplyDeleteMany blessings, Yvonne