Shot In The Arm

So while I have been stalled and frustrated with my weight loss I have gotten a real shot in the arm this past weekend. It started at the grocery store on Saturday morning. I was doing my usual shopping, going down the aisle and I see this woman that I go to church with. We also see each other often at baseball and we have worked Vacation Bible School together. So as she was passing me in the aisle - going in the opposite direction I said "Hey, Pam!" She just kinda looked at me like I had 3 heads. OK - weird. Then we passed each other in the next aisle and she just kinda ignored me. I was like "Seriously?". Then on the next aisle when she saw me she finally goes "OK - I totally didn't know who you were! And you said Hey - and I was like 'Why is she talking to me?' I didn't recognize you at all!" I mean - I know I cut my hair and colored it - but that is kinda standard for me - I change my hair color a lot. Then at the surprise party that my mom and my husband threw for me on Saturday night I had another incident. A friend of mine came a little late, after I had already arrived. She got there and went up to my mom and asked if I was there yet. Mom was like "Uh - yeah - right there." She was like "NO! That's not her!" Keep in mind - I just saw her a couple of weeks ago and she has seen my new 'do on Facebook. I thought it was a fluke - until today. I went with my son to "Beach Day" at school. I don't normally get to do school activities with him because I am working, but today they had a weather make up day and the teachers decided to do Beach Day to give the parents an opportunity to come and participate. Several parents said they didn't recognize me. But the one that took the cake was my son's teacher. I see her pretty often because we also go to church together. She was talking to me and kind of looking at me funny and I took my sunglasses off and her eyes got huge and she went "PAM! I didn't even know I was talking to you! I thought you were a parent of a child in a different class!" That's craziness! Just the shot in the arm I have needed while my weight loss has been stalled.

Ruminations

I posted a little while ago that I was in the midst of a stall. After talking to my nutritionist as well as some other WLS veterans it appears that I am not taking in enough calories. I don't even know what to say here. I have never had this problem before - this is definitely unchartered territory.

I record my eating and daily activities in a website called The Daily Plate. After reviewing my daily intake - I average about 850 calories a day. On a day that I run I burn anywhere from 450 to 500 calories in a workout. So it appears as though my body is in starvation mode. Even if I wasn't running - 850 calories is still not enough.

I am totally conflicted here. Surgery worked. I am not hungry. In fact, I find that a lot of days I am actually repulsed by food. How weird is that? It is work for me to get 850 calories in. I feel like I am thinking about food all the time. Like I didn't think about food this much when I was taking in triple the amount of calories in a day. How crazy is that?

So I am also not getting in enough fluids - and that is not good when you run. I have had one instance after a big run that I was totally dehydrated. It was downright scary. I was dangerously close to passing out - I could see the black starting to take over my vision and I was having trouble breathing.

So if I don't figure out how to turn this around soon I think I might go crazy. I need to up my calories, but I want to do it smartly. I don't want to up my calories with empty calories - I want to fuel my body.

I also need to get in my water and fluids. This is just plain difficult. I feel like I get bloated very quickly lately. As a result, it can be hard to just choke down some more water, etc... It is jus so strange to now be faced with a problem like not getting in enough calories!

My First 5K!

Wow! What a weekend this has been!

I took Thursday off because my daughters graduated from Kindergarten! So much fun!

I took Friday off because I could and I deserve it! :) I just needed a little "me" day. I got my hair cut and colored. It's been a very long time since I have done that. And I really cut it all off!

Saturday I had my first 5K!

When I started this WLS journey I made a bunch of goals. Not once did I even consider having jogging or running as a goal once I lost some weight. In fact, had you mentioned it to me I would have said "Uh - yeah - so I don't do that. I hate it." And now, not only do I run - I did my first 5K! I had a great friend from work who ran it with me. It was so great - like having my very own cheerleader. She was gracious enough to run with me and not leave me - even though I ran so slowly. I had two goals ... the first was to get to the finish line without walking. I did it! It was hard - there were some gnarly hills and I wasn't really expecting them. The second goal was to not be the last one in. I did it! Out of 638 runners I finished 623rd! Cutting it close, I admit, but I did it. Here is a video of me coming across the finish line. I must warn you - it could be confused for a Jell-o commercial ... watch it wiggle, see it jiggle!

And I came home after the 5K to a surprise party!!! A bunch of friends had gathered to help me celebrate my first 5K and my birthday! It was so great.

Running Playlist ... continued

OK - so after some suggestions and more digging on my own ... Here is a pretty comprehensive list of some tunes I have put together. Again - a bit eclectic. :)

• Ring The Alarm by Beyonce
• Womanizer by Britney Spears
• What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera
• Jesus Freak by DC Talk
• Jesus Messiah by Chris Thomlin
• Genie In A Bottle by Christina Aguilera
• Independent Women Part 1 by Destiny's Child
• Jumpin', Jumpin by Destiny's Child
• Bootylicious by Destiny's Child
• Glamorous by Fergie
• Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani
• Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
• Bawitdaba by Kid Rock
• Cowboy by Kid Rock
• All Summer Long by Kid Rock
• Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz
• American Woman by Lenny Kravitz
• Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J
• Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd
• On The World by Mandisa
• Get Ur Freak On by Missy Elliot
• Work It by Missy Elliot
• I Will Not Be Moved by Natalie Grant
• If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback
• So What by Pink
• Get The Party Started by Pink
• When I Grow Up by the Pussycat Dolls
• Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls
• Livin La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin
• Shake Your Bon-Bon by Ricky Martin
• Pon de Replay by Rihanna
• Rock What You Got by Superchick
• Ignition by Tobymac
• Gettin' Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith
• Party Starter by Will Smith
• Switch by Will Smith
• This Is Who I Am by Third Day
• Life Is a Highway by Rascal Flatts
• I'm Like A Bird by Nelly Furtado
• Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N Roses
• Kiss A Girl by Keith Urban
• Just Dance by Lady Gaga
• Gunpowder & Lead by Miranda Lambert

That should do me for a while, but I am still open to suggestions! :)

Running Playlist

Now that I have discovered running with tunes - I am on the hunt for a good playlist for running. I have pretty eclectic tastes. Here is a sample of some tunes I have come to love running to.

• Boomin' by Tobymac
• Catchafire (Whoopsie Daisy) by Tobymac
• Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson
• Feelin' So Fly by Tobymac
• Free to Be Me by Francesca Batistelli
• Hips Don't Lie by Shakira
• My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
• Never Alone by Barlowgirl
• Poker Face by Lady Gaga
• Psalm 73 by Barlowgirl
• The Slam by Tobymac

So what are some of your favorite tunes to run or work out to? Put a comment on this post and let me know what music inspires you, or keeps your pace up, or is just lots of fun to get going to.

Out of Body Experience

Today I am feeling like I have had an out of body experience.

This morning I discovered the joy of running with tunes. I don't have an MP3 player (yet! Hint Hint D! My birthday is just around the corner!), but I found ear buds for my phone this morning and I have some songs on there - so I took my phone along for the run. It's like I stop fighting my brain when the music is playing - I just keep going. I'm not thinking about "OK - if I can just get to that mailbox over there I can walk for a little bit." or "You can do this - just a little farther." It's just the music. And I think I go faster, too - in time with the music.

So this morning I thought I would try to add a little distance to my run since it was going so well. I wasn't sure until I left for work just how far I had gone. When I left for work I drove my route to check the mileage. 4 Miles! Without stopping!

Did I just say that? I ran 4 miles this morning without stopping? WHOA! Wait - who said that?

It is totally like an out of body experience! And, of course, now my body is like "Um, hello? Just what do you think you are doing? I don't know if you got the memo, but we don't run!"

You have to understand - I did track and field in high school - emphasis on the FIELD. My coach always made us run to warm up - even if we weren't "runners" per se. And I hated every second of running. Running a mile was a major ordeal. I had awful asthma in high school. Each year I would end up practically passing out at the beginning of the season from a bad asthma attack. Field events were my game - shot put, javelin, high jump - whatever. But I didn't run. If I did run my coach would put me in a short race - 100 or 200 and I absolutely hated it. Once he put me in a 400 and when I finally crossed the finish line I punched him. I was like "Don't ever do that to me again!" Once my boyfriend graduated from high school and wasn't doing track anymore - I didn't do track anymore. If I am completely honest - I only did it to spend time with him (we had a couple of track meets that were out of state where we were gone from school for several days - or we would get out of school early for meets). I was so glad not to do it my senior year.

So to find myself running - actually wanting to run - so much so that I am going to do a 5K ... it's surreal! My husband just keeps shaking his head at me. My mom just looks at me in stunned silence like "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?" I expected a lot of things to change in my life from having this surgery, never ever in my wildest dreams was this one of them.

Percentages

So as I posted a couple of days ago - I am at a stall. It's very frustrating and messes with my mind in new and irritating ways. Right now no matter what I do I just play with the same 2 pounds. I run, I drink, I count, I eat less, I eat more, you get the picture.

But today on one of the support boards that I live on these days (shout out to all my OH Peeps! Holla!) someone asked a question that intrigued me. She asked us what percentage of your excess body weight have you lost? Well, at first I started having flashbacks to Jr. High Math class with Mr. Verkaik and my head started to pound. But once I took a deep breath and though through exactly what I was trying to calculate I decided to go ahead and figure it out.

So I want to loose about 130 pounds total. Of that 130 pounds I have lost 75 pounds so far. That means have lost 58% of my excess body weight! In just over 4 months! That's craziness!

Looking at the numbers that way gives me a whole new outlook on the situation that I'm in at the moment.

Another friend gave me encouragement this week on focusing on the long term changes that I am making for myself and that those are the most important things I can do for myself. Changing my eating habits, my exercise habits, my relationship with food in general. Those things aren't easy and I knew in my head they wouldn't be easy. But now as the rubber meets the road and I actually have to do it - it's just not always fun. But it is always good.

So here's a picture of me today in some of my new clothes that are regular sized. Yeah me!

Stall

No - not that kind of stall!

A stall in my weight loss. I know it's common - especially at this point in my weight loss journey. But that doesn't make it any easier. I haven't lost any real weight in almost 3 weeks. It's very frustrating because I still have much to loose. I am exercising (running no less), watching what I eat (mostly protein!), everything right - but it's like my body is saying "Um, I am totally not comfortable going any further than this because I don't really recall ever being below that magical number on your scale." Great! Thanks! I appreciate the help and support. Maybe that is why I am so focused on thsi 5K coming up - something else to obsess over - something I feel I have a little bit of control over.

I don't think I had mentioned it earlier, but this past weekend my mom took in 10 pairs of pants for me. It is so nice to have pants that fit me now. Most of them were literally falling off my behind. She took in like 2 inches on each side of these pants - it's amazing. Now I don't have to spend money on pants that I hopefully won't be wearing for very long. Yeah!

WOW Moment

OK - I had a WOW Moment this morning.

I woke my husband out of a dead sleep (poor thing has a cold and was in a Nyquil stupor) and this is how that went:

"Honey - wake up!"

"Huh? What?"

"Look at me!"

"OK. What?"

"Look at me!"

"I am looking at you! WHAT?"

"I have a regular bath towel wrapped all the way around me!"

He gave me his obligatory smile and turned over and went back to sleep. So why wasn't he as excited about all of this as I was? Is it because I woke him up, or because he would have preferred it if there was something left to see?

I've lost my ever-lovin' mind!

OK - I posted here a while back that I had started running. And it doesnt' seem to be a fluke. I continue to run and it boggles my mind.

And this weekend I have done something that I never in my wildest imagination ever thought I could do - much less want to do. I am signing up to run a 5K. I have found a race that is being run in 2 weeks on May 23 in downtown Raleigh. It is a fun race and that is what I want for my first 5K (does that mean there will be more???).

It is put on my Skirt Sports and is called the Skirt Chaser 5k. Skirt Sports makes these great skirts for you to do just about anything in. The race is called the skirt chaser because the women get a 3 minute head start on the men - who then become the skirt chasers! The women who start first are called the "Catch Me" wave and the men who start second are called the "Skirt Chaser" wave.

I am curently running a little over 2 miles, so I need to step up my training over the next two weeks to be ready for the 5K - but now that I have put it out there for the world to see I will be held accountable.

So who wants to run with me? Or at least meet me at the finish line? I could use all the encouragement I can get! :)

4 Month Comparison

So I have been trying to do a compare of myself to before surgery about once a month since surgery (did that make sense?). Since I live with myself every day - I often times have trouble seeing my own progress. It's only when I look back at the "old me" that I can see the difference.

So here is a compare of me yesterday to me before surgery. I'm about 75 pounds down and flirting with a really big mile marker for my weight (unfortunately, I'm just not ready to share what the mile marker is just yet).

Is it just me or do those look like totally different glasses even? They look huge on my face now! I actually have sunglasses now that fall off my face if I'm at all active. I thought they were broken or something, but they aren't - they are just too big now. Who knew glasses could get too big?

Criss-Cross Applesauce

I just had to put a little something on here about how much I absolutely love crossing my legs.

That's all I got today.

Funk

I have been in a bit of a funk the past few days. In particular I am finding that I really miss some of the foods that I can't have right now. I am kind of mourning the loss of that whole relationship. Cake, bread, carbs and sugar in general are so not my friend and I really miss them right now. I don't know if it's because I am in a funk, or if I'm in a funk because I can't have those things. And now I am just rambling. So take that nugget and stew on it for a while.

It's been a while.

I know - it's been a while since I have updated my blog. My apologies. The past few weeks have been incredibly busy and hectic for me on just about every front in my life.

It's birthday season in the DeVries house right now. It starts on April 13 with my sons birthday. Then 2 weeks later it's my girls birthday, 2 weeks later is my husband's birthday, 2 weeks later my birthday, 2 weeks later our anniversary, and in there we have Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day, and this year - Kindergarten graduation.

On top of that, my parents sold their house and have moved into their RV (a.k.a. hotel on wheels) which is now parked in my yard. A week before closing on their house my mom fell down her stairs while carrying some boxes and broke her leg! So that whole transition has been a little difficult. Her sister (my Aunt Linda) came in and saved the day (or the week I should say) and that was incredibly wonderful. Mom is now camped out in the RV (no pun intended) and is getting around a little bit better than she originally was.

I have also been having to take my husband to UNC hospitals 3 times a week for some procedures for the past 3 weeks. UNC is about an hour away and when we go we are there until at least noon. He is wiped out for the day - gets a day to recover and then we are back at it. I don't mean to be vague about this issue - but I just can't share more than that at this time. :)

At work I have been assigned to a new project and I am swamped there as I get up to speed on what we are trying to accomplish. I have also started out the project by raising some rather major objections to the current approach and tool. This has not endeared me to my systems counterparts. That is OK with me. I'm not paid to be friends with everyone at work - I'm paid to analyze business requirements and make sure that the solution that is delivered meets those requirements.

Whew! This week I hit 4 months post-op! What a wild ride! I am sneaking up on 75 pounds down since surgery! I have had some major WOW moments in the past week related to my weight loss. The first is that I have begun shopping in "regular" sizes! No more plus sized clothing for me! Most of the clothes that I have right now are way too big for me. I have taken to wearing belts a lot. Last week when taking my kids bowling I forgot to wear a belt and my pants literally almost fell off! My kids were victims of a major crack attack. Poor things. :)

Another WOW moment was that I was picking up my girls from a birthday party. There was a mom there that I had not seen for quite some time, but we knew each other. I walked up to the group of moms and joined in the conversation. I sat there talking with them for almost 10 minutes when this other mom Arlene looked at me with her eyes wide open and said "PAM?!?!?! I knew I knew you, but I couldn't figure out who you were! I totally didn't recognize you! You look like a totally different person!" I am so not sure how to handle these types of moments. I am flattered, but I don't know that I'm comfortable being such a focus of attention.

And this is the last WOW moment - I promise. :) I had lunch yesterday with some colleagues that used to work at the company I work for. Unfortunately, they were laid off late in 2008. One of them I had not seen since well before my surgery. He showed up late to lunch and ran into our booth to sit down and was going around the table saying Hi to everyone. He looked at me and he said "If you weren't wearing your glasses - I'm not sure I would know who you are! You look totally different! You look fantastic!" Again - I am unsure how to handle that kind of attention.

So I apologize again for not updating my blog more the past few weeks. I promise to be better!