Before

So I've been doing a lot of research on the procedure that I'm about to undergo. It's actually a lot more common than you might think. My favorite part of browsing through various websites and such are looking at the before and after pictures. Some of them are amazing. I really can't wait to have an "after"!

But I suppose in order to have an after - I have to confront my before. That is something I have artfully avoided for some time. Those who know me well know that I enjoy my comfortable encampment in the land of denial. I can stay there for quite some time. But part of this catharsis and journey here is to confront just how bad things have gotten in this area of my life. I have made excuses for all of it for a very long time. Part of my artful avoidance has been ensuring that I hardly ever make it into pictures. No lasting evidence - nothing that I am able to look back on and realize just how huge I have become. What pictures are taken of me are carefully staged.

So here is the unveling of my awful before. It is painful to publish these pictures, but I think it's an important first step for me to do before my procedure.

I don't think I'm highly evolved enough to actually post my weight, but I figure this is a good first step.