Ready to talk about it!

So after about 5 years of consideration and 6 months of jumping through medical and insurance hoops, I am finally approved and scheduled for gastric bypass surgery. And I have decided to start a blog as a way of documenting my journey and having a place to process my feelings and emotions surrounding this whole thing.

So here's some background on me and my "weighty" issues:

I remember always struggling with my weight. I specifically remember hitting 100 pounds in 6th grade and knowing that I was the only girl in my class who was that heavy. I just always remember knowing that I was heavier than all my friends as I went through Jr. High and High School.

As I went to college I had more of the same. That was the first time that I tried dieting. I did Weight Watchers. It worked I did well with it, but eventually the weight came back and of course with a little more. When I was in college I had my first experience with ridicule because of my weight. I felt so ashamed and spent months yo-yoing in my weight after that incident. It would not be the only time that I was bluntly reminded of how heavy I was - not only by strangers but by "friends" and family as well.

I got married and kept putting on more weight. I had difficulty getting pregnant and went through years of fertility treatments. That, of course, didn't help matters either. I tried every diet out there - you name it - I tried it. I would loose a little and then gain it back and more. After my first child I went back to Weight Watchers and lost a good amount of weight there before I got pregnant again - this time with twins. Since their birth I have steadily climbed in weight - exceeding what I was even when I was pregnant with them.

I had a doctor about 5 years ago that was insistent that I needed WLS. She was relentless about it. I couldn't go to the doctor for anything without her asking me if I had decided to have WLS. It really made me mad - I wasn't ready to hear it and it made me stop going to her as my PCP. But her words always stuck in my head - was always something that pricked at my conscience.

And so it's taken me 5 years to reconcile myself to this decision. I have known all along that I need to make some HUGE life changes and I knew that I wasn't ready mentally, emotionally, or physically yet to deal with them. But I have made excuses for myself for too long. I need to get healthy again. I am really looking forward to this incredible journey I'm about to embark on.

Get ready for the new me!