Whatever You're Doing

This is a post I originally made a note on my Facebook page. I found it earlier today and I just had to post it again because it is again - just what I'm feeling right now.

I've been kind of fixated on this song by Sanctus Real lately. The words just seem to wash over me today ....



Lyrics to Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) :
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

And I do feel like chaos in me, around me, about me right now, and yet I am at peace that my Saviour is working it out - working to completion what He has started in me. I have some things I need to deal with about myself - I need to clean house - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's not an easy process by any means - but it's time to heal - time to move on - time to heal what's been broken too long.

So Father - show me what you want from me! Help me see what it is you want to change in ME! I found myself in church on Sunday just letting the tears fall and hearing in my head over and over again "Change me. Change me. Change me. Change me." I have to stop focusing on what I want God to change in others and seek out what God wants to change in me.

Another song that has been really speaking to me is by Natalie Grant - I Will Not Be Moved. I posting the video for that as well. There seems to be a theme here that I'm caught on ...



And the chaos in my life has been a badge I've worn
though I have been torn I will not be moved.
I will stumble I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartaches
But I will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on.

I always hear something or see something and think "OH! So-and-so needs to hear this!" And lately God in his still small voice has been saying "No, my child ... I'm speaking to YOU!" I stubbornly resist "No, thanks - that's OK! I got it - really - I'm fine!"

I am so thankful that it's not me who holds on to the Lord's hand - but He who holds so tightly to mine!

So even my chaos is His - my brokeness is His - it's all Him working the change in me that is so desperately needed. And He speaks to my heart yet again "I know the plans I have for you! Plans to prosper you and not to harm you - plans to give you a hope and a future." Oh Lord - I can't see the forest for the trees right now! But I take comfort and peace that even though the storm rages on - you are holding on to me - you see the bigger picture - that "thing" in me that you are working to completion.

Thank you for loving me so much.