So I realized something about myself recently, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm thinking it's not the best thing - and something I need to work on.
I have noticed that people I am meeting in my life right now - people who didn't know me before when I was fat - I feel this need to tell them I have lost 115 pounds. It's like I feel this need to make sure they knew I was fat. It's still such a big part of me and a part of who I am. Why do I feel like people don't really know me unless they know that part of my story? When will I start to look at this as just one part of my story - just like my fertility battle, or all the different places I've lived, or the premature birth of my children? I don't feel the need to tell everyone I know about those things. When will I stop feeling like that weight still defines me? I am free of the 115 pounds but I feel at times like I am still living with it. I am still surprised by what looks back at me in the mirror - I still don't recognize that girl I see in pictures. When will I finally be comfortable in my own body? The body that I worked so hard for.
I don't have answers and I don't expect them. Just ruminating and blogging. :)
I have felt that way about other things, Pam. I think because we have LIVED that way for so long it is hard to move past it and realize we are beyond it. Plus, with what you have gone through.... who WOULDN'T want to shout it out to everyone you saw! I completely understand.
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