Monday, January 26, 2009

4 Weeks Ago Today ...

4 Weeks Ago Today I was off to see the Wizard! I can't believe it's only been 4 weeks. But more importantly, I can't believe that I am officially down 30 pounds since my surgery!!!!!!

I am still having a hard time seeing it. We talked about this at our latest support group meeting. I still see me 30 pounds ago in the mirror. People will tell me that they can tell I'm losing weight and I try to be gracious, but the first thing that pops into my mind is "They are just saying that because they know I had surgery." I know in my mind that I am losing weight and that I am getting smaller because clothes are fitting me different - some fit me that didn't before and some don't fit me anymore at all. But ME - in my heart and soul - I still don't see it or accept it. Maybe it's all those years of failing at diets. There is still a part of me that is afraid this won't work. I want it desperately to work - but I am afraid of hope.

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