So I have decided that I want to name my new stomach pouch. I know - you think I'm crazy. That's OK - I am.
I tend to name different things - it gives them character. For instance, I named my parents GPS system Delilah - because she kept leading us astray. Before my hysterectomy I named an IUD I had a brief relationship with Oscar - because he made my uterus grouchy. I didn't name my uterus, but I did give her a fond farewell before my hysterectomy with a bon voyage party. Now that was fun! Everyone wore red - we ate red foods - red velvet cake - a red chocolate fountain - red wine punch - port wine cheese. It was great fun. We played pin the tampon on the uterus. Party gifts were goodie bags filled with items from my "stash" that I would no longer need. Good time, good times.
I digress. I am looking to name my new pouch. She (or he - I haven't decided) can be a bit finicky. She may not be able to handle certain foods, she may not like certain foods I give her and decide to "re-gift" them to me. But I need to treat her gently - to take good care of her so she will take good care of me. I don't want her to stretch out or get much bigger than she is.
So do you have any ideas? If you do - comment on this post and let me know!
Pam...I love your blog! You have such a great way with words...expressing yourself in such a real and honest way, but always looking for a way to lighten it up with a chuckle! You have already brought a smile to this dreary Tuesday morning for me. Ok, so now I'll be on a mission to try to come up with a perfect name for your...uh...pouch. The first one that popped in my head was "Minnie" or "Mini Me"...for obvious reasons! :-) It'll be fun to read what your other faithful readers come up with! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteI'm biased but I think you should name her Krystal. Have you ever met a more finnicky, pickier eater than me?
ReplyDelete"Pouch" makes me think of kangaroos which leads me to "Kanga" or "Roo" but perhaps those are too cute.
ReplyDelete"Aretha" because I'm thinking of all the celebrities I've seen who should do this surgery, Aretha Franklin's pouch is screaming to be shrunk.
Then there's "Mike" because although he holds the baked potato eating record, he's such a fussy eater when it comes to texture and taste and such.
I also think you should name her Krystal. Then we can talk about Krystal (the human) all we want, but claim we are talking about Krystal (the pouch). "Geez, she's grumpy today".....or "Man, she's tough to get along with".....things like that.
ReplyDeleteBessie... LOL
ReplyDeleteOk Pam, we are all waiting to see what you choose. Cause nothing beats Queen Shakes Her Booty!!!
ReplyDelete